Ann Arbor Times

The holiday season often brings stress, with family gatherings sometimes fraught with tension and high expectations. However, according to Stephanie Preston, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan, there are ways to mitigate these pressures.

"Give yourself and others grace," Preston advises. "It's fine to laugh when things go awry. We've all seen the perfect Hallmark family gathering, but those are fictional. Real life is complicated and messy. We're all human and need to savor the moment."

Preston suggests setting an intention for the holiday period as a way to manage stress. She practices this by keeping her own Thanksgiving celebrations simple: each guest contributes a dish, dress codes are casual, start times are flexible, and activities include walks and games.

"What do you most want to get out of the holiday? Most people want to be present and thankful while spending time with loved ones more than they want to craft the perfectly browned turkey or decorative tablescape," she says.

Communication strategies can also help handle difficult conversations during family gatherings. Preston recommends preparing for potential conflicts in advance and focusing on shared experiences like food rather than resolving deep-seated disagreements.

Even if tempted to make a snide remark, it's better to have phrases ready that deflect negativity while respecting your feelings. Having an ally at events or someone you can contact for support can extend patience during stressful moments.

Boundaries are crucial for maintaining well-being during holidays but should be communicated clearly in advance. This could involve taking daily walks or going to bed early without needing detailed explanations.

For those feeling lonely or isolated during holidays, Preston emphasizes connecting with others as much as possible. Alternatives like Friendsgivings or volunteering can provide social interaction when traditional family gatherings aren't feasible.

Balancing personal downtime with social obligations requires understanding one's own needs for rest and engagement. It's important not to overextend oneself but rather plan ahead to ensure both participation in events and personal relaxation.

Lastly, avoiding unhealthy coping mechanisms is vital during holidays when routines change, expectations rise, and social interactions increase. While some coping methods might seem harmless in moderation, they can become problematic if they hinder enjoyment of the holiday season. Seeking support from friends or professionals can help navigate these challenges effectively.